Our community regularly gathers together to raise funds to support those in need. We bring not only essential financial aid, but also solidarity, generosity and the message that we care. Over the last couple of years we have been sending funds to our friends at SanghSeva who have been coordinating the distribution of food parcels in Palestine. Through their decades long peace work in the area, they have a trusted network of friends on the ground.

The latest fundraising session this October 2025 was on the theme of Compassion. We could say that it is compassion that moves us to come together, to contribute, participate, give, and engage. As described in the Visuddhimagga (a fifth century Buddhist text), compassion is the quivering of the heart in response to suffering. As beings that are sensitive, social and dependant on caregivers for a good deal of time, we have a natural capacity to feel and care for others (we’re made that way).

There is an anecdotal and likely apocryphal story attributed to anthropologist Margaret Mead, who when asked what she considered to be the earliest sign of civilisation pointed to a healed human femur bone. This bone tells us someone was cared for and speaks to the essence of compassion and community – 1. That there was suffering (broken bone), 2. That there was empathy from others (an understanding of the pain), 3. Actions to help and care for, which led to 4. The healing of the bone. 

Meeting suffering can move us, and lead to action that soothes, cares for and possibly alleviates the pain.

It is precisely because compassion is a response to suffering, that it is not always easy to access. Generally we dislike what is uncomfortable and disagreeable, our body and central nervous system will be feeling this discomfort. It can trigger our deepest feelings of vulnerability, uncertainty and mortality and this can be threatening. Immediate reactions to painful things see us wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible, and our instincts are to fight, flight or freeze. In many situations this is a very helpful survival mechanism, and pain has a vital role in modifying behaviour. 

There can also be many instances when survival is not at stake, and our dislike to something uncomfortable triggers less well-adapted reactions and coping strategies. When the dislike has as much, or more, impact than the thing that is uncomfortable. In other words, the way we relate to the discomfort has the power to change our experience for better or for worse. It’s that common experience of being anxious about the anxiety. The good news is that we have some say about the way we relate to any given experience – we can change our habits.

We all have our own unique conditioning of habitual responses to discomfort, coming from life experiences, education, social/cultural/religious contexts, gender, family patterns etc. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of some of these: denial, avoidance, dissociation, dismissing, minimising, maximising, blame, overwhelm, panic, guilt, fixing mode, numbing the pain, grin and bear it … Some would consider that all addictions fall within this mechanism of feeling discomfort and trying to get rid of it. How do we push it away?

Of course there are also skilful and loving responses to discomfort such as bringing awareness, being present, curiosity, empathy, kindness, compassion, and wise action.

Essential within compassion is that ability to acknowledge the discomfort, to notice it’s there in the first place. This can take courage and willingness as we bravely face something painful or stressful, and sometimes it takes someone else to reflect it back to us. It’s an important step and can be transformative when we can say something like ‘Ouch, this hurts or this is difficult to bear’. In naming and witnessing the experience we create space around it, we allow it time to be, to be felt. We notice what is being felt in the body, we could notice the breath, the quiver of the heart. Significantly, this often disrupts the circuit of our habitual reactivity of aversion, we don’t take the bait, and this opens up more possibilities to respond skilfully. Reactivity tends to come from the mind, so if we can stay with the immediate sensory & somatic experience for a little longer we are loosening the habits of mental proliferation and re-training ourselves to get more at ease with bodily sensations. [read more about Embodied Presence here]

Bearing witness to what is uncomfortable and acknowledging that it’s not easy, brings understanding and empathy, and we avoid making it worse with unhelpful reactivity. Let’s say we’re not sleeping well and tiredness is having an impact on our daily life, we might be more forgetful or make mistakes, we might more easily get impatient or upset. It’s perfect ground for the inner critic to come to life with some derogatory commentary – ‘you’re just not good enough, you’re failing, you’re hopeless, you’re such and such…. you should do this, you shouldn’t do that…’ The tone of the put down is harsh and punishing, we will feel worse than just being tired and ironically this could keep us up at night even more – ouch! What if we meet the tiredness with some understanding that it’s not easy to function due to lack of sleep, and that whatever is keeping us from a good nights sleep is also in need of attention & understanding? How would life change if we replaced self blame with self compassion? It can also happen that in the process of caring for others and/or engaging in a cause we can become overwhelmed and exhausted (burnt out) – a sign that we may have been overlooking or neglecting our own needs and limits – the compassionate heart holds all including ourselves.

Some say that practicing compassion is learning how to be more at ease with discomfort, we don’t freak out (as much), we don’t rush for the quick fix (as much), we are more steady. The voice that says ‘I care about this, I’m here for you, is there anything I can do, how can I help?’ moves towards what is difficult and is ready to be of service. This coupled with empathy can lead to action and response that feels right, or appropriate. The focus shifts from trying to get rid of discomfort to holding it tenderly and coming together. Discomfort reclaims its role as a messenger – what needs to change here? There are endless stories of how suffering has been the initiator of significant change for the better. A move away from fear towards wholesomeness and healing. This is the expression of love towards what is hard to bear.

Practice enquiry – this could be ongoing, here are just some ways in. Practising in a compassionate way could mean not forcing it, being sensitive to wounds and trauma, taking our time and maybe seeking support and guidance.

When do we know we’re feeling uncomfortable – what are the bodily messages ? 

In which ways do we relate to suffering/difficulty/discomfort/pain ?

What are our habit patterns, our conditioning ?

Do we relate to the suffering of others differently to our own ?

How do we relate to the suffering of animals and of the planet ?

Looking for blind spots – what kinds of discomfort have we normalised ? In which ways have we desensitised ourselves from discomfort ?

When do we brush it aside, ‘it’s nothing’ ?

In which ways does guilt show up ?

Do we have a hierarchy of suffering, judging and comparing of what is deserving ?

Do we have any addictions ? How do we numb the pain?

In which ways do we already offer understanding, empathy and compassion ? Where does this come easily or instinctively ?

When something goes “wrong”, when we “mess up”, could we bring understanding rather than blame?

Next time we feel some kind of pain, could we ask “what is needed here?” – what is the message?

What wholesome ways sooth uncomfortable body sensations, can we notice the discomfort ease ?

Notice the times we feel comfortable, how does the body feel ?

What else?